Magnus' Birth Story: Delivery

WARNING: Delivery stories are a bit graphic.

At around 11:30 pm on May 17, I could feel my baby's head very, very low in my pelvis.

Doctors and nurses will usually tell you that when you feel like you need to poop, it's time to push. Sure enough, I felt like I needed to poop.

When the nurse came in to check on me, I told her that I thought it was time. She took a quick peek and agreed.

Everyone left the room except the nurse and Brandon and she began explaining to me how and when to push.

The entire experience was nothing like I expected.

I had pictured a delivery the way I had always seen it in the movies - lots of screaming, a whole team of doctors, etc. So I was shocked when she explained that I'd begin pushing with just her and then she'd call in the doctor when the baby was closer to being born.

I had also expected a long delivery - 3+ hours or so.

And to be honest, my entire pregnancy I just figured I'd end up with a C-section. C-sections are extremely common in the US, with 1 out of 3 births resulting in one. And since my mother had ended up needing C-sections with both of her kids, I thought I'd likely end up the same. So the entire time I was pushing, I never really thought a baby would come out. Silly, I know.

"Push like you're pooping."

"Push like you're pooping," the nurse instructed me. It was so counter-intuitive to me (I mean, babies don't come out of your butt), but it was the best advice she could have given me.

During each contraction I'd take a deep breath and push for 10 seconds and then repeat 2 more times.

When his head started to come out, she made a comment about how much hair he had and invited Brandon to look. I had been so anxious to know what color my baby's hair was and how much he would have that it made me so happy to hear her comment on it!

She also asked me if I wanted a mirror so I could see what was going on.

I really didn't, but I figured I better get one anyway just so I didn't regret it later. Seeing your baby being born is supposed to give you the energy to keep going.

I did look a couple of times at what was happening - enough to see my baby's hair, but it was all pretty gross and I spent most of the time closing my eyes so I wouldn't have to see what was happening down there.

In between contractions, I did wear an oxygen mask to make sure the baby stayed stable.

It was all just so quiet and peaceful. I didn't scream while I was pushing, I was too busy focusing on my breathing.

After 30 or 40 minutes (which seemed more like 5 minutes to me), I got to the point that I could really feel myself making progress and I just wanted to push that baby right on out. I could feel him RIGHT THERE. The nurse suddenly said, "STOP PUSHING," and then rushed to call the doctor.

If you haven't delivered a child before, let me tell you that you can't simply "stop pushing." Your body is getting that child out whether you like it or not. So while we were waiting for the doctor to come, I actually had to take deep breaths to focus on NOT letting my body keep pushing.

The doctor and a few other nurses arrived and every push felt like it was going to be the last one, this baby was so low.

Then I felt my skin stretching and it hurt like hell. The pain was so bad that it made me want to push even harder to get him out and get it over with. I kept thinking to myself that it couldn't possibly hurt any worse. That this time, the next push really would be the one that got him out. But nope, every push hurt worse. And he was not coming out. He was stuck.

I wasn't aware at the time, but being stuck was causing my baby distress and his heart rate was dipping, so the doctor asked me if she could make a cut to allow him to come out. I panicked and asked her, "will it hurt?" As if I wasn't already in excruciating pain.

Side note: I actually did yell out in pain once I felt that stretching.

She looked at me clearly not knowing how to answer. Like..."Duh! I'm about to slice your vagina open with a knife, of course it's going to hurt!"

But I let her do it and sweet Jesus, I've never felt so much relief in my life. She sliced and that baby slid right out.

They put him immediately on my stomach and he didn't even cry. He was so content just looking around, taking it all in. It wasn't until the nurses started rubbing him that he began to cry.

I put him on my chest and was so amazed at what he looked like and that he was finally here. It was incredible. I looked at Brandon and he just had a shocked/dazed look on his face.

Brandon got to cut the umbilical cord and I laid there with my brand new baby on my chest for an hour.

Brandon was in charge of naming him and I asked a couple of times what his name was going to be and Brandon would just look at me wide-eyed and say he didn't know. There was just so much going on, I think it was the last thing on his mind.

He finally decided on Magnus and held his baby boy. It was so sweet!

As a funny aside, Magnus pooped on me when I was holding him to truly welcome me into Motherhood!

Meeting my baby was amazing. He was 7lbs 10oz of perfect baby boy. I remember getting sad when they put a diaper on him because he was just so perfect the way he was. And I didn't dress him the entire time we were in the hospital because I just wanted to stare at him and take in every inch of him.

The physical recovery from childbirth was rough, but I'd do it a million times over for my little boy.

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